Traveling with family and friends: dream or nightmare?

You don’t know someone until you travel with them.

Persian Proverb

****

I think the travel experience can be affected positively or negatively depending on who we travel with. Many people plan every detail of their trips. They decide when to go, what to wear, what to eat, where to go and sleep. However, a lot of people often forget about choosing their travel companions wisely.

Because let me tell you, companions can make your travel experience out of this world or create one of the biggest disappointments of all times.

Listen carefully to what I am going to say. Your mom may be the most wonderful person in the world.  Your sister is probably the funniest person you know. You cannot imagine the world without your best friend since kindergarten. I know, there are a lot of people you love dearly. But hey, that does not guarantee you are compatible travelers.

I’m sorry but no. It’s like when you decide to share an apartment with your best friend and after a year you do not want to see that person for the rest of your life. Many times a person’s personality changes when traveling. And, why does this happen?

When we travel, we are out of our comfortable environment. This causes some discomfort that can manifest in unusual ways. The more different the place visited the stranger the reactions. And, if we add to the equation that each person has their own expectations, needs, goals, etc, well, things get more complicated. I mean way more complicated.

I know these situations very well because I have traveled with a number of different personalities. I’ve been with those who avoid walking at all costs, those who skip meals to save money, germaphobes, complainers, those who do not want to expose their nails to any dangers, those who are always tired and the list goes on and on.

But, there is nothing wrong with these people. It is just that they do not fit my travel style!!

Perhaps you’re thinking this is no big deal. Why we cannot get along when we travel? But, what happens when the differences are more a chasm? What happens when the travel experience is affected? What happens when thousands of dollars are involved? What happens when you are taking the trip of your dreams?

There are always going to be differences when we travel with others in the same way there are differences in other life facets. The idea is not to stop traveling with your loved ones but take into consideration certain things before and during your wanderings.

Here are some suggestions that may help you to choose a good travel companion:

Start having an honest conversation – A lot of the suggestions I’m presenting here will be effective if you are willing to have an honest conversation with your travel companions or prospective travel companions.  Be honest about your travel preferences. 

My suggestions will be helpful if you are willing to be honest upfront.

Know your travel style and communicate it to others – If you’re a seasoned traveler, at this moment, you should be able to communicate what aspects of travel you find enjoyable. 

If you are a novice traveler, try making a list of things you want to do in the destination you are planning to visit. For example, when I travel I like to get up early to seize the day. I walk a lot, take public transportation and like to mingle with locals.

I have always a good idea of what I am going to do during the day. I like museums, parks, historical monuments, and adventure offerings. I do not skip meals and make sure I sleep well.

Once you have clearly defined your style, talk to others to get an idea of ​​what their travel style is. This can give you powerful information when you invite someone or get invited to travel.

Take into consideration others habits and personality.  Be realistic about your differences – Take into consideration personality traits like sociability, shyness, ability to solve problems and self-control.  Determine where your personalities may clash.

Consider other things like sleeping patterns, fitness level, special diets, preferences, etc. I know it is impossible to know a person 100% but that is why you have to talk honestly.  Remember the little things are sometimes the most annoying ones.

Be clear about the purpose of the trip – Each trip have a purpose or home. Some travel for food, culture, music performances, family reunions or relaxation.

If you travel to the Yucatan Peninsula for a family reunion, you have to assimilate you may not have time to see all the ruins or go to the parks because the purpose is to connect with your family, not with the Mayas.

Having the purpose of your trip clear can help you to obtain greater satisfaction.

Take into consideration the duration of the trip   – It is different to share space with a person for 3 days than for two weeks.  You may prefer different companions for different trip lengths.

Take into consideration your destination – Same as the previous point.  Your travel destination may have a lot to do with who you choose to travel with.  For example, a person able to function under pressure may be more helpful in places where the language is different or public transportation is difficult to manage.  A person who loses his/her patience easily may enjoy more familiar, closer to home places.

Listen, negotiate and compromise – Even after discussing preferences, expectations, and styles,  remember to listen to what others have to say and show respect. Try to see if it is possible to negotiate and work around some differences.  Finally, compromise on the agreements reached.

Before the trip, discuss how to react to difficult situations – I have been traveling with my husband for more than 10 years.  Before every trip, I remind him something will probably go wrong.  Stuff happens.

However, there is no point in blaming each other and getting into a big fight.  It is better to work together to find a solution.

I recommend you remind yourself to be kind if somebody messes up during the trip.  

If you have a clear idea of who is going with you on a trip, do not forget about discussing the following:

Decide on an itinerary  – I know a lot of people are against over planning.  Well, me too.  But, if you are going with somebody, this is not only your trip. 

At a minimum, decide on the main activity of the day. This will let everybody contribute to the daily activities planning and set expectations.

Booking a guided tour will take this out of your plate.

Decide if some activities should be done together or alone – This is why planning daily activities is important.  You may want to go somewhere or do something on your own.  There is nothing wrong with doing different things.  On the contrary, it may help to keep peace and good attitudes when tension is building up.

Decide on a budget or how to divide travel costs – This is extremely important.  Fights over money are the most difficult ones to overcome.  Decide the budget level for your basic travel needs (accommodation, transportation, food).  Divide costs fairly.  Have a way to keep transparent information about the costs.  Additionally, respect if one of the members of your travel party wants to indulge at some point.

Divide obligations – It is wise to divide some of the obligations.  For example, decide who is going to wake up everybody, who will make sure nothing is left in the hotel room or who is going to be giving walking or driving directions.  Try to get an obligation you are comfortable with.

Don’t complain if you don’t have anything to say – If someone in your travel party asks your opinion about something and you answer “whatever” or “I don’t really care”, don’t complain later. Your friends were considering you when they were deciding on something. 

If it does not matter, let things flow.  If you have an opinion about a topic, speak up.

Some additional advice:

Don’t decide to go somewhere in the spur of the moment – Take some time to think before compromising.

If you have a bad feeling of how a trip may end with a certain person as a companion, do not book (or cancel) the trip – Indicate how much you value your relationship and how you will not want to see it ruined over a trip (or money issues) going wrong.

Stay positive – If things are not going as expected, stay positive and try to enjoy the good moments.  This will serve you as an experience for future trips (plus, you will have a lot of stories to tell).

You may lose a friend – I know a lot of cases where people have stopped talking to each other after traveling together.  There were several red flags during the planning phase.  However, nobody had to courage to address them. After a trip full of unpleasantries, people still refuse to talk and straighten things up.  Do not less this happen to you.

Traveling alone is a possibility.

On the other hand, traveling with a person with different tastes may open your travel universe to a whole new array of possibilities.

 It is so fun and rewarding to have a good travel companion. Just make sure you guys click before hitting the road.

Other Travel Planning Articles

How to Make the Most Out of a Trip

23 Ways to Avoid Money Disaster While Traveling

How to Travel with the Correct Attitude

What about you?  In what ways, you avoid discussions and problems when traveling with family and friends? Let me know in the comments section below.

Pin for later!

Related posts:

9 Things Tour Companies Don’t Tell You Travel Safety: Important Tips for Travelers So, You Want to Visit Every Corner of This Planet Is it worth it to travel to that country?